What Your Negativity Bias Sounds Like at Home or Work.

In my first book, "The Insurance CSR Sales Master Class," I titled the last chapter, "Achieve Long Lasting Success in Any Area of Your Life."

That’s quite a bold claim from a book focused on what I call the big-five sales skills for insurance agency CSRs. But I believe the personal always shows up in the professional. The opposite is true as well, which is why I included the topic in a business book.

In other words, the behaviors that allow us to thrive at work; things like discipline, planning, accountability, self-talk, and goal pursuit, invariably appear in our personal lives. Think: artistic pursuits, skill-based hobbies, fitness, weight loss, parenting skills, anything you might consider growth oriented.

In chapter six of my book, (and companion course of the same name) I introduce what I call the four habits of mind and three hooks that bind our actions to our intentions. Here are the four habits of mind.

• Our inner world experience shapes our outer world results.

• We are products of our habits.

• We want to grow but are hardwired to resist.

• We have an innate negativity bias.

In this blog post I want to explore the stickiest of these mental habits, the negativity bias, and demonstrate how it spans both work life and personal life.

Our negativity bias means that not only do we make up all sorts of dark possibilities that stop us from taking risks, but we also give outsized influence to our negative experiences instead of our positive ones.

We hold onto and amplify the negative over the positive. This in turn causes us to frequently negate ourselves with harsh internal criticism.

I really should ask this customer why they don’t have umbrella protection with us, but every time I’ve asked a customer for something they have gotten annoyed and I don’t want to annoy them which is why I hate sales and selling. And why I will never be good at it even though my boss says it’s something I should do. I hate this pressure.

That’s one way the negativity bias could show up at work. At home let’s say you had a weeklong run of strong impulse control around food. You’re eating a little healthier, you’re feeling better and you’re proud of yourself for being on a good roll, and then, whoops! You fall off the wagon.

You didn’t resist the urge, you chose poorly, you ignored the inner voice telling you to stop, or slow down. Rather than focusing on the good week that you had and letting that lift you and define you and get you back on track, you instead focus on the cupcake you ate and how much of a failure you are for doing so.

The negativity bias pulls you into a downward spiral revealing how those cupcakes are like everything else in your life that you failed to do, how you can never follow through on the promises you make to yourself, of how you shouldn’t even bother because it’s not worth all the struggle, and how people are judging you and that you’re essentially a failure.

Man! That’s a harsh place to live. I know this because I have visited often. But forewarned is forearmed, as they say. When you recognize this internal voice as nothing more than a habit of mind, it’s much easier to transform it into an uplifting dialogue no matter what you’re pursuing.

Module six of this free preview will help you get started.

To the championship coach inside all of us!

Sheldon